We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
