Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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