we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
