Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
