so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
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SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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