did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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