it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
