im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
