so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
