I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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