Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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