Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
