I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize