I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!