Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
