i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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