how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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