I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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