He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
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Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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