i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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