Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
