People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
