i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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