you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
