Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
