I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize