Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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