That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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