is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is Oprah even human
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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