She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize