You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
