I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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