Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
