Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
