so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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