he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
