Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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