I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize