sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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