he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
