So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
