Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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