I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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