bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
