At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
