He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
