I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
