I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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