I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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