Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This is classic penis vs brain.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
