I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
