The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
