Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
